The Naughty List

What if there's room for everyone on the nice list?

In the movie, Elf we learn about the “Code of the Elves” which is composed of three statements.

• Treat every day like Christmas

• There’s room for everyone on the nice list

• The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear

Watching the film this year gave me a few thoughts. I believe that we often talk of God like we do Santa Claus. This is because both popular depictions inform one another. Like any story, the threads of Santa Claus and God inevitably cross and intertwine. The popular song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” has lines which can be used as a hymn based on images of God as controlling. Let’s change Santa and see how it reads.

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why, God is coming to town
He’s making a list
He’s checking it twice
He’s going to find out
Who’s naughty and nice, God is coming to town

He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows when you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness’ sake

How many seek to get on God’s nice list by being good and making sure they never step out of line? Or, how many are so afraid that they are only one cry, pout, or bad thought away from being on God’s naughty list? Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists are built on a transactional model which ensures behavior or attitude based on risk and reward. Many have a similar, if not identical, vision of God. That affects the language used to describe God, and it affects the relationship many have with God.

Practically, there are ways we can see this attitude. These come to the fore during hardship or disaster especially. I am writing this essay just days removed from an event which saw several tornadoes strike our region. This included two deadly long track tornadoes. One long tornado travelled from Clarksville, TN, forty-three miles into Kentucky. The other touched down in Madison, TN (a suburb of Nashville) and travelled about thirty miles through our town of Hendersonville, TN and on to Gallatin, finally lifting around Castalian Springs, TN. Among the reports and countless examples of humanity helping one another, the tragedies of loss of life and property, there are stories of people trying to make sense of something like a tornado.

Tornadoes exemplify the difference between a controlling God versus a sustaining God. The language of hope and comfort usually leans into the dissonance of control rather than sustaining. This is a normal human response because we seek to know the why for things. When God looks a lot like Santa, then the transactional makes sense. Watching news reports brings an extra sadness when God is projected as so controlling that a Bible is spared when an entire floor of a home is destroyed. I do not want to take that comfort away, but a God who would spare a printed book and yet leave a family without their home seems capricious. I also heard a family tell of spreading oil on all their doors so that God would protect their home. The home was not damaged when the tornado hit nearby, but assuming the oil encouraged God to protect also assumes that God sends the tornado to start with.

We live in a world in which disaster happens. Disaster spreads from the single human to an entire community and beyond. Tornadoes, earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, pandemics, and other events do not happen because we are on a cosmic naughty list. They happen because our world can be dangerous and chaotic. They happen because they happen. That is not satisfying when we seek metaphysical answers, but the answers are what they are. This is not a turn toward fatalism because we can prepare and limit the impact of disasters, big and small. But it is a reminder that God does not visit the disaster upon us. But God does promise to always be with us, even in the disasters of life.

Back to the naughty/nice list. Technically, according to the Revelation of John, God only has a nice list. Theologically and doctrinally, we can argue over how, who, and why the nice list (Book of Life). But I hope that the second tenant of the Elven Code is true and that “there’s room for everyone on the nice list.” Whether we find ourselves on that list is another discussion, but I don’t think we get there by avoiding the nasty list or seeking to appease a God who keeps lists like Santa Claus.

Then again, maybe the film Elf has something compelling to its simplicity. Our creeds are important, but I wonder if we also keep in mind the Code of the Elves, whether our world would be a much nicer place overall.

• Treat every day like Christmas

• There’s room for everyone on the nice list

• The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear